When the Girliest of Girls Turn Out To Be Men

March 4, 2010

I belong to several wonderful, but different, on-line communities. Transfamily and TYFA, and the CNMC parent group (see side bars). Parents seem to be self-selecting, with many of the parents of gender variant but not transgender children ending up in one group, and the parents of transgender kids ending up in the others. In many [...]

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Responding to Michael McGough’s, Psychiatrists, ‘Sissies,’ and the Schoolyard

February 24, 2010

Michael McGough questions the wisdom of supportive parenting in Psychiatrists, ‘Sissies’ and the Schoolyard from the LA Times:
… this connection informs a program at a Washington, D.C., children’s hospital that helps parents accept  their “gender-variant” kids. A brochure for the program advises parents that although most of these boys will be gay, many will “grow up to be [...]

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When He Was Very Young

February 23, 2010

How much information is too much information for a child?
All parents struggle with the particulars. When do you tell your kids about the messy reality of birth? The mechanics of sex? Homosexuality? Transgender? Death? War? The Holocaust? Serial killers? 911? The Bomb? Sarah Palin?
If you read the parenting experts, they’ll tell you that frequently when [...]

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Consequences for Bullies

February 22, 2010

If you grew up in the 60s and 70s, you send your kids to school with a vague sense of unease. Sure, Kindergarten looks gentle and fun, but there are those bigger kids barreling through the hallways. If you got to a K-8, the eight graders look ready to go to war or bear children. [...]

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Sexual Harassment. On The Bus

January 27, 2010

“I hate that girl! She’s evil!”
Eleven year old Oscar cascades down the bus steps followed by his brother George. A neighbor girl and her brother also emerge, and they confer briefly out of earshot. Kids in winter coats push through the knot of us standing there and stream away in all directions.
‘I HATE YOU!” Oscar [...]

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Wearing His Mother’s Shoes

January 18, 2010

Oscar has shot up in that pre-adolescent growth spurt, now a foot taller than his childhood friend, Rachel. His mom’s shoes are casual, unisex; it’s not the gender but the size I’m talking about here, for a change. Oscar is just growing up.
At 11, Oscar has trimmed his waist length, dirty blond hair to his [...]

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New Study Confirms Supportive Parenting Does Not Hurt Gender Non-Conforming Children

January 12, 2010

I’ve had the opportunity to read a draft of a recent study by Hill, D.B., Menvielle, E., Sica, K.M., &  Johnson, A. (2010), of children in different therapeutic environments published in The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy shows that supportive / accepting parenting is associated with lower rates of mental illness. From the abstract:
When [CNMC [...]

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Camp I Am: A time, and a Place, to Be

November 10, 2009

The children crowd together, laughing and giggling, teetering in high-heeled shoes, wigs, go go boots; dresses and gowns. Some are wearing street clothes, but also a hat; a flowing scarf; a necklace. They fidget beside a runway flanked by 200 folding chairs, waiting for the show to begin. Some of the children are obviously girls—though [...]

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The Little Girl, The Rock Star, and Normal 2.0

November 8, 2009

If you’re the type of person who liked to think of themselves as hip; creative; bohemian, unbound by convention, having your first kid can be a humbling experience. Because as it happens, you enter a world of norms.
You find yourself saying the things that everyone says, cliches you might call them, if they didn’t express [...]

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Halloween: The Lion, The Witch, and The Boy Who Lived.

November 1, 2009

The one day a year that men in drag don’t warrant a second glance?
Halloween.
For kids, though, it’s different. The Halloween costume is important. Will your kid be a superhero? Harry potter? An animal? A hobo? A criminal? A franchised character spat out of Cartoon Network, Nick Jr, or the Vast Unstoppable Disney Juggernaut?
Will your girl [...]

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