Before I Got It

October 24, 2009

There was only one moment when the appearance of my son in his boy-skirt induced a surge of humilation. The family was out in public, Oscar in the Boy Skirt, and I was uncomfortably going with the flow. I didn’t have a lot of friends in the immediate neighborhood, my son was three years old, [...]

Read the full article →

I have a Queen—traditionally African American College bans Cross-dressing

October 17, 2009

This story from CNN caught my eye:
An all-male college in Atlanta, Georgia, has banned the wearing of women’s clothes, makeup, high heels and purses as part of a new crackdown on what the institution calls inappropriate attire.
William Bynum says he discussed the new dress-wearing ban policy with Morehouse’s campus gay organization.
No dress-wearing is part of [...]

Read the full article →

The Fear

October 14, 2009

During the heady days of the Clinton administration, when our worst national nightmare was consensual adultery, before 9/11, before the drumbeat of global warming, during that first flush of enthusiasm for the internet, we had two kids.
We arrived at the decision to have them almost wordlessly. I was making foolish amounts of money, my wife [...]

Read the full article →

Making It Up as You Go Along

October 12, 2009

Parenting, we all know, is about being consistent. Setting limits. Creating consequences. Maintaining authority—your kids don’t need you to be their friends. They need you to be their parents. Bad parenting, we are told, means going along, and getting along; shifting the goal posts. Giving up and giving in.
Imagine, then, parenting a gender-non-conforming child.
At first, [...]

Read the full article →

Atlanta High School Student Told To Man-Up

October 7, 2009

So what are we supposed to think about this story from The Atlanta Journal  Constitution’s website?
Jonathan Escobar says he chooses to wear clothes that express himself.  Skinny jeans, wigs, “vintage” clothing and makeup are the staples of his wardrobe.
The simple solution is a ‘gender neutral’ dress code. If a boy can wear it, a girl [...]

Read the full article →

The Day The World Didn’t End

October 3, 2009

My first-born son was in the second grade, on the day the world didn’t end.
I had resigned from the gender police; dressing Osar was up to my wife. In my defense, I’m not a clothes person. Periodically my wife buys me clothes—when the ones I have start to fall apart or become so stained as [...]

Read the full article →

The Bathroom Battleground: gender variant kids and the call of nature

October 1, 2009

A few school systems, both public and private, have dealt with the issue of a transgendered child by notifying the school’s parents that a child, heretofore one gender, is now coming to school as the other. This is often met with howls of confusion and protest.
“What? Are the parents insane?
“Are they going to mutilate some [...]

Read the full article →

The Tomgirl Profile: Commonalities among gender-variant or gender non-conforming boys

September 29, 2009

As supportive parents find each other through mailing lists on the internet (see the CNMC and Transkidsfamily) we share stories about our kids, and the problems they face— and the problems we face being thier parents. Over the years a profile builds up, qualities that many of these boys seem to share.
We are astonished to [...]

Read the full article →

Tomgirls vs. The Thing Without A Name

September 28, 2009

It is perhaps the only way in which being female is easier than being male. A young girl reaching outside her gender stereotype is encouraged. Sports? Yes! Science and math? Of course! Pants? Short hair? Sure. Oh, there’s a price to pay if she gets too boyish—especially as puberty approaches. She’ll get stuck into a category—tomboy. But even that is seen as transitory—nothing to worry about. Puberty will straighten her out!

If a boy who reaches out for feminine things is ‘encouraged’ social services is notified. Nobody calls social services about a short haired girl in pants.

Read the full article →

It’s OK to be a gay middle-schooler—as long as you’re gender normative!

September 27, 2009

The New York Times article Coming Out in Middle School shines a guttering ray of sunshine into the families of some GLTBQ youth. As a parent of a gender non-conforming, presexual middle-schooler, of course, I run smack-dab into this apositive phrase, and stare forlornly into the steaming dump the author has taken in my cornflakes.
In [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →