The New York times fashion section has done another piece on gender non-conforming children, currently titled Boys Will Be Boys? Not in These Families. The article gathers together the latest child gender controversies and adds good context and commentary. We have The Princess Boy, The J.Crew Toemaggedon 2011 flap, and links to a bunch of resources, including this blog. Most interesting to me is the fact that the story doesn’t emphasize the born in the wrong body story, which has been such a strong component of recent media coverage of gender non-conformity.
“Even when the child has extremely gender variant behavior at 4, it doesn’t necessarily mean the child will be gender variant at 10 or 15,” said Dr. Edgardo J. Menvielle, who directs the Gender and Sexuality Psychosocial Programs at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. “It’s possible they will remain who they are and they may also change in a variety of ways.”
In other words, parents have to wait, a limbo that many find unbearable. Some rush to aggressive advocacy. Diane Ehrensaft, a therapist in Oakland, Calif., said that a parent might say to her, “ ‘I know my child is transgender and I’m ready to go with hormone blockers.’ ”
Her response? “Whoa, not so fast.”
There was a time when gender atypical behavior was widely considered a sign of a child who would one day identify as gay. In a homophobic culture, this often had devastating consquences, as children were subjected to reparative therapies designed to straighten them out, as described in Anderson Cooper’s recent Sissyboy Experiment segments. Ironically, as the culture has become less homophobic, this gender nonconformity has become more associated with a trangender outcome, with unintended consequences. Professionals like Kenneth Zucker, who no longer openly support reparative therapies for adult homosexuals now use the same kind of treatments to avert the transgender outcome in gender non-conforming kids.
As an advocate for gender non-conforming children struggling to communicate a nuanced understanding of this issue, media coverage has been both welcome and upsetting. A few sentences devoted to the most common outcomes, followed by thousands of words devoted to the most sensational, telegenic cases. This article represents a milestone in the coverage of this issue by the mainstream media, and I commend Jan Hoffman for having written it.
Sarah Hoffman’s omission from the list of parental sites and resources is my only complaint with the piece. Very strange, considering the fact that she consulted with Jan on the article.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I noticed that omission, too! Hoping it was just an oversight or editor’s hyper-cut mode. Our story was edited out as well, but I was so thrilled at her angle for coverage and just happy that she was doing the story!!
Wonderful article and nice commentary from you! I am working on my transgendered issues, and started when I too was much younger. Now being middle aged, I see the wisdom of my parents for accepting me for who and what I am
Thank you