A Mississippi high-school’s decision to cancel its prom to prevent the attendance of a lesbian couple may have the additional effect of endangering the student in questions safety.
From Seattle’s The Stranger:
The school told Constance McMillen, an 18-year-old senior, that she couldn’t bring a female date, couldn’t arrive with another girl, couldn’t wear a tuxedo, and warned her that even if she and her girlfriend arrived separately and wore dressed, they would be asked to leave if their presence made other students “uncomfortable.” Now McMillen, the 18-year-old senior who wanted to bring her girlfriend to prom, doesn’t just have to worry about being the only out lesbian at her small town’s high school, she also has to worry about her classmates blaming her for the cancellation of their prom:
“Oh, my God. That’s really messed up because the message they are sending is that if they have to let gay people go to prom that they are not going to have one,” she said. “A bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this.”
Superintendent:
Teresa McNeece
605 S. Cummings St.
Fulton, MS 38843
(662)862-2159
tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us
School Board Members
Eddie Hood
a082315@allstate.comJackie Nichols
jnichols@itawamba.k12.ms.usHarold Martin
hmartin@itawamba.k12.ms.usClara Brown
cbrown@network-one.comTony Wallace
twallace@nexband.comPrincipal Trae Wiygul
Dear School Board Member
Please do not cancel your prom.
Be accepting your students identities and preferences you will not be “creating a distraction,” you will be preparing your students for the adult world they are about to enter. It’s a world where everyone doesn’t agree on every issue, but where we are learning to accept each other’s differences and treat others as we would ourselves like to be treated.
The human race has been working on that last one for a long long time.
You are not living up to that standard at the present. I hope and pray that you will come around on this.
I spent the first 20 years of my life (i’m 46) as a homophobe. I didn’t associate with homosexuals (that I knew of) and I found the prospect of witnessing affection between a same sex couple, in any form, repellent. I’ve come a long way in the last 25 years, met a lot of wonderful people, and I no longer have the very strong feelings I once had.
Even if you feel homosexuality is a sin, even if you think of it as a lifestyle choice, you are doing even your straight students a disservice by shielding them from a reality which they are probably more comfortable with than you are.
Worst of all, you are endangering the life and safety Constance McMillen, who you are punishing by doing this, making her the villain for asking to be treated like any other student.
I pray that you will do the right thing, for Constance, for your students, and for the world at large, and accept that we can honor and respect each other even when we disagree strongly with each other’s choices in life.
Ask yourself, as a thought experiment, if Constance were to come to harm as a result of this decision, how would you feel?
Now ask yourself, how would you feel if she were your daughter.
Sincerely,
Bedford Hope
One way to show support for Constance would be to donate to ACLU, or to UnityMS, a GLBTQ organization in Mississippi which works on issues affecting students in the state.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I went to several proms. At all of these proms girls dance together without their male dates. Is there a difference in this and two girls going to the prom together? Presumably the straight students aren’t allowed to have straight sex on the dance floor and the gay students shouldn’t be allowed to have gay sex on the dance floor either, but surely they can dance with each other. If a straight girl’s male date won’t dance with her at the prom, would the school prevent her from dancing with her straight platonic best girlfriend?
Hey, I just came across your blog through Hydrangeas are Pretty, and I became engrossed with your posts. I think Oscar is going through the exact same thing my brother went through as a child… But my parents were not supportive at all, called him names, scolded him for wearing girl’s clothes, etc etc etc.
Anyhow, while I was reading one of your posts, a film came to mind that I thought you might like very much. It is called “Ma Vie en Rose” and it is about a little boy in exactly your child’s situation. If you can find it subtitled in English (it is a French film), you will LOVE it. And it might be something Oscar might like to watch later one.
It is a great movie. It took me years to get up the nerve to watch it, and it was about as rough as I could handle; yet it was hopeful and positive overall, for all the struggle in it.
I’m so sorry to hear about how your parents treated your brother; I have to think they thought they were doing the right thing. I think even parents today who are suppressing the behaviors have been taught to be more compassionate about it.
It’s a strange impulse, this thing where we abuse people to protect them from the other people who we are afraid will abuse them even worse. Instead of just trying to protect them. It’s a conservative thing, this notion that the world cannot change, and that being different means you deserve whatever you get. It is amazing how the fundamentalist right has turned logic and reason on its head as it attacks laws protecting LGBTQ people—claiming the bills persecute Christians! Um. How many people in this country are attacked and murdered each year for being Christian? How many LGBTQ people are assaulted for being who they are? Can they count? Can they reason?
There’s something worse going on at that school as well, there’s another kid who’s missed a month of school and will probably end up having to drop out because the school won’t let them dress how they want (I believe they’re a trans girl, but the only article calls them a guy… not that that means much in this media).
Article: http://www.wtva.com/news/local/story/School-Dress-Debate/ykCINbiIaUC-t4jOCXDpng.cspx
While I can’t say that I agree with the idea of cancelling the prom, I will say that Constance should be allowed to attend and bring her girlfriend.