Comments on: When the Girliest of Girls Turn Out To Be Men

By: On Zucker « Chroanagram

On Zucker « Chroanagram — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:17:02 +0000

[...] list of tendencies that tomgirls, gender variant boys who may not identify as transgender, show. In another post he also makes a good point that when young kids insist they’re [gender] it doesn’t [...]

By: ejayo

ejayo — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 03:24:19 +0000

I’m sorry nobody could see you as a child; that you didn’t feel free to reveal yourself. It’s all so complicated. So many families of adult transgender children feel like idiots for not having seen it earlier. I think we may be entering a new phase of ‘feeling like idiots’ as some gv kids presumed to be trans turn out to be something else; gay, straight cross dressers, gender-queer. As parents we have so many ways to get it wrong. But we’re trying now, anyway. MIssing the blocker window is the only maddening thing; but blockers may end up being appropriate for a very small segments of the GV kid population. We don’t know, but we have to make these irrevocable decisions for our kids. Either decision is irrevocable; normative puberty or delayed puberty.

By: Teddy

Teddy — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 01:39:17 +0000

I was the girliest of girls, who has grown up to be a man, and no one ever suspected. I was so attuned to a childhood where it was profoundly important that I was the only girl that my parents had -they were so proud of that fact and told me so from day 1- that I suppressed it all until I was 25. I’m sorry that it has to be maddening, to try to read a child like he can tell you his future, but I am so glad that you are listening to him. I wish that someone had listened to me.

By: Rohit Gadi

Rohit Gadi — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 17:17:28 +0000

I thank you for reaching out to a global audience with your experience and information. You’re a very dedicated and concerned parent, not to mention aware and informed. I’m living in an ambiguous world myself. Please keep posting, its the only way these cases come to light.

By: ejayo

ejayo — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:32:14 +0000

I’ve finally gotten it that our comfort with our presentation isn’t something we learn, or accept, it’s just in us, and that presentation exists almost as a whole other axis of humanity. There’s gender identity, sexual preference, and gender presentation, and all these things can be all over the place. The heterosexual, male-identifying cross dresser; the lesbian-looking straight woman. They’re all out there, and they aren’t hurting anybody at all. So why bug them about it? Why not accept them? The only reason to not accept is if you believe that somehow people are doing this for no reason at all, as a kind of purposeful flouting of social norms for the sheer fun of it, and again, what do you care what other people do? If they’re not dressing YOU up, having sex with YOU, calling YOU by pronouns which you dislike, what in the name of God is the problem?

By: Michael

Michael — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:15:14 +0000

This was a pretty awesome post. As a suppressed genderqueer, I’m currently in my “overcompensation” stage – I want my hair long, I want to look as naturally female as possible. Thus, I have a bunch of issues when someone tells me that they see me “as a real woman” or asks me when I’m getting hormones. It’s almost (but not quite) funny when someone absolutely insists that I’m a transsexual, even to me (“this is just a phase, seriously, it’ll have to be one or the other”).

But anyway, your support of your son is stunning. Every child should have a parent so open and accepting, gender-variant or not.

By: Jenn Burleton

Jenn Burleton — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 08:29:20 +0000

Hi,

Wonderful post. I wanted to let you know about our organization as another resource for families of gender non-conforming or transgender children and youth. We offer a wide range of services (face-to-face) and resources through our website or in person.

Thank you for your open-minded support of your child… they each have their own journey and all we need to do first is to listen to THEM above everyone else.

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive Education & Advocacy

By: N.A.

N.A. — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:42:18 +0000

Thank you. Too often I have concerned parents coming up to me and insisting that I help them understand their “transsexual” child. They don’t seem to realise that a boy who wears a dress is not automatically going to be a woman when he grows up. He might be gay or effeminate or trans, or he might — and this is the one that really blows their minds — be trans AND gay. Heck, he may even grow up to be a gender-conforming straight guy. No one really knows how or why one person is gender non-conforming while another transitions, you kind of have to make things up as you go along.

By: ejayo

ejayo — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:33:38 +0000

Awww. That is way nice. This is a very weird thing I’m doing here, really, but in the end it helps keep me sane and helps me work through my struggles. I inevitably make myself out to be a bit better, cooler, farther along, than maybe I really am, but maybe that too, is normal.

By: Marty Hale-Evans

Marty Hale-Evans — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 02:39:42 +0000

I am in awe of you and your journey. I’m really proud to be your friend. Your children are incredibly fabulous, and you are a hero. I know you don’t feel like one – being a hero is not all spandex and spotlights and can be downright scary and messy – but you are to me. Keep on truckin’.