This study is essentially a group of questionnaires / self-reports filled out by the parents of kids in these different programs at a single point in time. The authors hope that more research funding will make more ambitious, longitudinal research possible at some point, but the reality is that the culture is moving so fast now that a longitudinal study may obsolete soon after it’s completed!

But any research is better than no research—especially given that popular wisdom is that these kids can, and should, be ‘fixed.’ This study says attempts at fixing aren’t correlated with, well, being fixed. Of course, it depends on what you mean by fixed; Zucker makes claim that he as averted many transexual and homosexual outcomes, but his subjects don’t report being, ah, happy. So, you can force people into closets and you can make people live a lie, if you’re willing to spend the time and money, you may end up with a more normative seeming miserable child. For people with fixed and inflexible (religiously inspired) ideas, this may be enough of a reason to continue with these therapies. We look forward to a time when the professional associations start acting against this type of therapy, as they now act against reparative therapies for adult GLBT people.

I wish you the best of luck in your career; I have no doubt you will save lives, and lead many families to a better understanding of their kids. This is a noble calling. I also hope your biological family will one day see the light, as unlikely as that may be.

Thanks for reading. We write this stuff for you. Let me apologize for all straight-het-normals who don’t get it. I was one once, so the apology is real. I’m so sorry. But I have hopes for the future.

Take care.

I will confirm your suspicion of the gender non-conforming persons’ life being more difficult, at least for me and a few others I know very well. I can’t speak for the general populace of GV people. It’s especially more difficult in a Western society, namely the United States, because even if we decide to transition it’s either/or. Nothing important or life changing should ever be either/or. Many other countries allow the “third gender” if you will and in some of those places it is a revered status and considered a blessing.

As a transgender adult I struggle everyday with whether I should just try and bottle all my non-conformity up and stuff it under a rug so I can have an easier life or to embrace this difference and try to make my way through a largely unaccepting world. Luckily for me, I’ve always been stubborn and I’d rather isolate myself from everyone so I can be happy with me. But it is an extremely difficult tug-of-war every waking moment.

I just want to say that I love that I’ve found your website and Labels are for Jars as well as Sarah Hoffman’s website because they a) give me hope for our future, b) provide me with invaluable resources and material with which to explain my stance on why I want to be a child therapist focusing on gender issues, and c) just the simple support you give your children. That’s something that sadly lacks in my biological family. So thank you.

The core of our debate now, in the supportive community, is the necessity and timing of social transition. I think all of us with children who have thrived without formal transition tread lightly here, simply not knowing what the experience of another child, another family, is like.

I think our deepest fear is that in places where gender stereotypes and homophobia is most intense, social transition could represent a successful short term accommodation with negative longer term consequences. We know in of kids in some communities where homophobia is very intense who have embraced a female identity as a kind of defense—I’m not gay, I’m really a girl.

So I share the anecdote of Oscar, who was allowed to go ‘too far,’ in the eyes of some, and who still seems to be on a trajectory which doesn’t include drugs and surgeries, at this time. I think the stories of kids finding themselves, of moving back and forth across that line, will help everyone understand that this isn’t easy stuff, that there’s no magic bullet, and, that they needn’t jump to conclusions.

We all are on a journey to find ourselves; for the gender non-conforming the journey is just more visible. And often more difficult, I suspect.

My take on the outcome of the study, based on the abstract, is that kids who have supportive parents, who are allowed to present as ‘they’ choose from very young age (like my son and your son) are emotionally healthier and do not demostrate more extreme gender variance than the kids who are pushed to conform. My read of the abstract is that the approach we are taking (allowing our young sons to present as girls) is beneficial to emotional health and doesn’t make the gender variance “worse” (for lack of a better expression).

As an aside, I hate that Canada is linked with Ken Zucker, and has a reputation as being a hostile place for gender variant kids. There are many many therapist in Canada who support the rights of gender variant kids to be themselves, and we have policies/legislation in place in school boards, social welfare agencies, etc. that support the rights of kids like mine to present as whatever gender makes them most happy. sadly, Zucker is just more vocal and gets more press.